OMG. Burger burger burger burger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM.

Well, I'm starting new blogs. I apparently don't care enough about posting about real life in a forum that everyone can read. Call me crazy, but I feel like I have to edit every post for “what will be socially acceptable and not offend anyone.” Well, I’m too tired for that. Let’s face it, I have a three year old. I’ll post my private information where people sign up to read it and I don’t smack it around on Facebook. The world is a much more peaceful place that way.

But do you know what isn’t controversial? BURGERS. Ok. So, I wanted to start a blog entitled “Exploring St. Louis” (which I’m still doing, btw)…but my burger quest is really its own separate entity. I mean, the ultimate burger can’t be restricted to a St. Louis search. For all I know the best burger is in some dive bar in Alaska.

Here is what you can expect from me.

A post that involves pictures. Because seriously. No matter how much I explain about the cheese squirting out the side, or how amazingly juicy it is, or how the grilled onions tasted like God’s vegetables, the fact is, pictures make it way the hell more fun.

These different scores:

How the Burger Stands Alone: - This score (1 – 10) will belong JUST to the burger. I don't care if the waitress smelled like yesterday's cigarettes or the hostess cussed me out. This is a score for how the food ranks.


How the Sides Add Up: If the fries are the best I've ever had even though the burger sucks, I'll let ya know. Because sometimes a burger joint is a burger joint, a steak joint is a steak joint, and a pasta place is a pasta place. If I'm at a restaurant on my Burger Quest, I'll have a burger. It may not be spectacular (oh God, Ginghams, please stop, mmk?), but everything else may be freaking amazing.

How the Service Stacks: I'll tell you who you'll deal with, and maybe drop some names of a server or two to look for. (Uncle Bill's pancake house has decent diner food, for instance. However, if you sit in James's section, you'll actually enjoy your visit.)

Atmospheric Conditions: I'll let you know what to expect from the dive itself - including the indigenous fauna.

Overall Awesome-Meter: Let's face it. It's me. I'm going to be using the word awesome to describe more than my fair share of places. Therefore, there will be a 1-20 Awesome Scale. 1-9 are normal numbers. Once it hits "10" I will declare it Awesome, at which point, it must prove its worth on the sliding Scale of Awesome. For those who would call me the hyperbole queen...I've never seen above a 16 on the Awesome Meter, and I am beginning to doubt I EVER (deal with it) will.

Wabam. Prepare to be burgered.